A woman shared the relationship boundaries she and her husband observe, and the reaction on social media quickly got heated.
TikTok user @bmcpher, whose name is Bailey, shared a post with the caption, “Rules my husband and I have for our marriage that make people ANGRY.”
In the video, she explained that they don’t have “friends of the opposite sex.”
That applies to workplaces, too, and they don’t let each other hang around the opposite sex alone. They don’t even text the opposite gender without the other knowing.
That guideline is actually fairly common among Christian couples. It’s known colloquially as the Billy Graham rule.
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In a column for Christianity Today, author Tish Harrison Warren shared critiques of the principle.
“This rule, in its most pristine form, renders male-female friendships impossible. However unintentionally, it communicates to women that they are fundamentally dangerous. And it bars men from meaningful mentorship or pastoral care of women and vice-versa,” she wrote.
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According to The Sun, some TikTok commenters declared Bailey’s marriage rules to be “insecure.”
“Tell me you don’t trust your partner without telling me you don’t trust your partner,” one wrote.
“Sorry, this is absolutely insane,” another said.
Others agreed with her principles.
“And that, ladies and gentlemen, is respecting your partner,” a user commented.
Bailey has since turned off comments on the original post and on a follow-up video revealing that she and her partner also banned porn, as well as lusting after the opposite sex.
They also vowed to put each other first, even above their parents.
She said the rules don’t come from a lack of trust — they’re just respectful boundaries that both she and her husband have agreed upon.
“I don’t expect non-Christians to understand Christian marriages,” she wrote in a post.
While reckoning with the unexpected virality of her post, Bailey shared in another TikTok that the sudden attention had a negative impact on her emotionally.
“I think your boundaries are reasonable. As a therapist, I have found similar ones to be helpful and healing for my couples,” one TikTok user told her.
Still, the debate continues.
In The Know reached out to Bailey for comment.
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